Gilmore Girls – Season One

Welcome to my head. I’ve decided to rewatch the Gilmore Girls show (this is my 3rd time) in preparation for the new series! Unfortunately, I started a little late, but I think it’s actually perfect because, by the time I post about the new episodes, most of you will have watched it and I don’t have to worry about spoiling anyone! Without further ado, let’s get started with my rewatch.

For every episode I have written a running commentary while I watched it, some of my favorite lines, and all of the movie/book/band/pop culture references I could catch. This was fun to do, though a little more time consuming than I thought. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

gilmore-girls-2

EPISODE 1 – Pilot

Commentary:
I freaking love the theme song!
I FREAKING LOVE MICHEL!
Love, love, love how Sookie is the clumsiest, but most genius cook.
Rory got into Chilton!
The witty back and forth is what makes this show.
I don’t want to like Dean, because I know I’ll ultimately hate him, but he and Rory first bond over movies, so I guess I should give him a chance.
Why is one of the first things Dean tells Rory (besides talking about Rosemary’s Baby, obviously) that he needs to go find a job? What a random thing to say? Plus, why does he not even acknowledge the fact that Rory is packing up her locker?
Ugh. Rory wants to give up her life dream of going to Chilton because she met a boy that day. What a dumb thought.

Favorite quotes:
Luke: How many cups have you had today?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus?
Lorelai: Five…but yours is the best!

Lorelai: Michel, the phone.
Michel: I know. It rings.
Lorelai: Could you answer it?
Michel: People are particularly stupid today and I don’t want to talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: Why don’t you tell that to the unemployment agency?
Michel: Independence Inn, Michel speaking

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “There She Goes” by The La’s, “Where the Colors Don’t Go” by Sam Phillips, “My Little Corner of the World” by Kit Pongetti, “I Try” by Macy Gray
Movies/Shows: Rosemary’s Baby
Books: Moby Dick, Madame Bovery, The Little Match Girl
People: Ruth Gordon, Lyle & Erik Menedez

EPISODE 2 – The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton

Commentary:
Lorelai’s laundry day hillbilly outfit for Rory’s first day of Chilton KILLS ME!
She uses a trench coat to “cover” her ridiculous outfit, but she doesn’t close it, so it just makes it worse?
Paaaaris and her perpetual cynicism *heart eyes!* She’s such a sassy pants!
CHAD MICHAEL MURRY! *swoon!*
Jackson’s sarcasm gives me life!
Rory apologizes to the locker! *dies laughing* I’d totally do that.
Tristin is such an ass for calling Rory “Mary” but he is just so beautiful.
Luke is jealouuuuuus of the Chilton daaaad! *hehe*
Lorelai thinks Luke is cuuuuute! I can’t believe Rory is denying Lorelai Luke.

Favorite quotes:
Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV.

Lorelai: I have a fuzzy clock and it didn’t purr on time.
Luke: It didn’t purr?
Lorelai: It’s fuzzy. It purrs.

Emily: There are five days in a week.
Lorelai: Really? Because my days of the week underwear only go until Thursday.
Emily: Is that a joke?

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: XTC
Movies/Shows: Hunchback of Norte Dame, Dukes of Hazzard, The Shining
Books: Alice in Wonderland

Kirk job #1 –> a internet installer

EPISODE 3 – Kill Me Now

Commentary:
“The most odious woman alive” – Richard’s opinions slaaaay me!
Lorelai just picked a fight with Rory about how big their boobs are just because she doesn’t like that Rory is becoming close with Lorelai’s estranged parents. *sigh*
Sookie is literally chasing Jackson down the street to apologize for buying fruit from another seller. *dies laughing!*

Favorite Quotes:
Michel: I’m not talking to them.
Lorelai: Yes you are.
Michel: Well then, I’m not talking to them nicely.

Emily: I think to have a place to go to socialize—that’s very important to a young girl.
Lorelai: Well, now especially that the crack den has closed on the corner, all her really good friends are gone.
Emily: *exasperated look*
Lorelai: What do you think, Mom? Should I pursue the career in comedy?

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge, “Here They Go” by Sam Phillips
Books: A Mencken Chrestomathy

Kirk job #2 –> deliverer of the swans

EPISODE 4The Deer Hunters

Commentary:
Rory got a D?!
Go Rory standing up for herself! Go Lorelai standing up for Rory!

Favorite Quotes:
Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil-tossing usually signals a need for pie.
Rory: What if I had thrown a pen?
Luke: I would’ve brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don’t make the rules; I just carry them out.

Lorelai: And now this goes on the “Boy, was I wrong” list—right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance phase.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: The B-52’s
Movies/Shows: Saved By the Bell, Flashdance
Books: Comedy of Errors, Richard the III, Shakespeare’s Sonnets

EPISODE 5 – Cinnamon’s Wake

Commentary:
Awkward interactions between crushes are awkward. But Dean is weirdly intrusive anyways, blocking Rory’s way to ask if she wants paper or plastic? Trying to keep an open mind about Dean, but he’s already giving me weird vibes.
Rory is the most empathetic, supportive kid ever.
Thank you for apologizing to Rory for bugging her so much, Dean!

Favorite Quotes:
Max: Do you like coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my oxygen.

Miss Patty: Fresh fruit always has such a…sensuality about it…Are you too young for this?
Rory: Definitely.

Lorelai: Why should we date?
Max: Because were clearly attracted to each other.
Lorelai: Well, I’m attracted to pie. It doesn’t mean I feel to need to date pie.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Rancid
Movies/Shows: The Sixth Sense
People: M. Night Shyamalan, Jim Carry, Jean-Paul Sartre, Oliver North and Fawn Hall (Iran-Contra scandal), Angelina Jolie, Billy Bob Thornton

Kirk job #3 –> assistant manager at Doose’s

EPISODE 6 – Rory’s Birthday Parties

Commentary:
Kumquat and raspberry? I need to taste this! The only problem with this show is they eat so much good food that I can’t taste!
I get that Rory feels like she’s preserving whatever relationship is starting between her mom and her grandmother, but seriously, why does she not tell Lorelai that Emily is throwing her a birthday party and invited her whole school?
More awkward Rory and Dean eye contact!
True friends make sure your feather boa doesn’t catch fire on your birthday cake candles. Lane is a true friend.
Rory, why you gotta be sneaky about Dean?

Favorite Quotes:
Luke: She’s not here yet.
Lorelai: Okay, well, you’ll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay, Burger Boy, dance.
Luke: Will you marry me?
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.

Lorelai: You know what they say when you assume things.
Emily: No, what do they say?
Lorelai: That…you shouldn’t.

Lorelai: No, this is your party, you do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Elvis, Jim Morrison
Movies/Shows: The Fly, I love Lucy, The Waltons
Books: Freaky Friday
People: Barbara Hutton, Farrah Fawcett, Edith Wharton

EPISODE 7 – Kiss and Tell

Commentary:
Luke and Lorelai’s back and forth banter gives me life!
I can’t decide if Rory and Dean’s first kiss is cute or uncomfortably forced.
Yeah, Rory, I’d be wigged out about my first with a guy being with my mom, too.
Sookie is just the best! I can’t handle. She might be my favorite character—it’s hard to choose a favorite.
Dean is rudely sassy when Lorelai gives him the run down on how to treat her daughter. I’m starting to remember why I don’t like him.

Favorite Quotes:
Rory: That’s my mom.
Dean: She’s got energy.
Rory: Yeah, she’s 90% water, 10% caffeine.

Lorelai: He kissed you and you said thank you?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Well, that was very polite!

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “Pink Moon” by Nick Drake
Movies/Shows: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, The Way We Were, Ice Castles, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Boogie Nights, Magnolia
People: Nancy Walker, Chuck Heston, Robert Redford, Barbra Streisand, Marky Mark

EPISODE 8 – Love and War and Snow

Commentary:
I wish I liked snow as much as Lorelai.
Rory is so self-centered now that she and Dean are dating—Hey, Lane is talking to you about HER life!
I wonder if I would like Max more if Luke was never in the picture.
Richard and Emily eating PIZZA!
I love the way Luke looks at Lorelai. Poor guy.
Yayyy—Rory and Lane worked things out!

Favorite Quotes:
Michel: You do know that not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing.

Lane: Don’t be sorry, be here.

Lorelai: Everyone screws up, Lane. That’s what happens. It’s what you do with the screw-ups—how you handle the experience—that’s what you should judge yourself by.

Pop Culture References:
People: Jane Austen, Hunter Thompson, Charlotte Bronte, Errol Flynn

EPISODE 9 – Rory’s Dance

Commentary:
I love that Lorelai encourages Rory to go to the dance, even though she personally hates it, but because she doesn’t want Rory to miss out on experiences.
Rory’s dress is so beautiful! I would totally wear that dress! Can I have a Lorelai to make me pretty dresses?
I wish Tristan wasn’t an ass, because he’s way more beautiful than Dean.
Paris brings her cousin as a date, but they were totally holding hands?
Ughhh. Dean. Don’t pick fights. He’s annoying me. I really tried to not dislike him!
Okay, but wouldn’t going into Miss Patty’s dance studio when it’s closed be considered breaking and entering? I feel like Rory would be more cautious about this.

Favorite Quotes:
Emily: I’m not leaving my daughter stranded on the couch. What if you need to go to the bathroom?
Lorelai: I don’t go anymore, Mom. I gave it up cold turkey.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Tom Waits
Movies/Shows: Sixteen Candles, A Streetcar Named Desire, V. I. P.
Books: The Outsiders, The Portable Dorothy Parker
People: Emily Post, Barbara Stanwyck

EPISODE 10 – Forgiveness and Stuff

Commentary:
Luke made Lorelai a Santa burger because she misses her parents’ Christmas party *heart eyes!*
The first time Luke yells at someone using a phone in the restaurant!
Luke is the most loyal person ever.
How many times can Lorelai and Luke say they weren’t on a date? *rolls eyes* Why couldn’t they have been on a date?
Emily calls Lorelai and Luke idiots because they’re “just friends.” YESSSSS!

Favorite Quotes:
Rory: So, you just wanna hold a grudge?
Lorelai: Yes, it burns more calories.
Rory: That’s not true.
Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers?

Luke: Hey, you gotta think positive thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns…clowns…little, cute…furry…Okay, I’m out.
Lorelai: Thank God.

Pop Culture References:
Movies/Shows: The Miracle Worker
Books: Metamorphosis

EPISODE 11 – Paris Is Burning

Commentary:
Rory and Max interaction is so delightfully awkward.
Zucchini tush—Jacksons genetically altered fruits and vegetables are hilarious. I wonder what they actually taste like.
Lorelai’s ice skates were in the drawer with the roasting pans? Haha. I think her system of organism would cause me pain.
Lorelai runnin’ away from her happiness. Pshh.
Sookie asked Jackson out. YESSSSS! They are my favorite.

Favorite Quotes:
Rory: It’s 1:00 in the morning.
Lorelai: I know, but my watch stopped during a terrible car wreck, and I had to save kittens and small children and four baby chicks.
Rory: Did you have a nice time?

Rory: Well, I’d take some dance classes because the way you express yourself needs a little work.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin
Movies/Shows: Psycho, Heathers, The Odd Couple
Books: Swans Way
People: Marcel Proust, Michael Crichton, Emily Dickinson, Marilyn Monroe, Arthur Miller, Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding, Rick James, Hugh Grant, Walt Whitman, Homer, Dante, Shakespeare, Edna O’Brien

EPISODE 12 – Double Date

Commentary:
Sookie is so adorably flustered about asking Jackson out. *Heart eyes for days*
How does Lane not know Todd is a total stoner, boring person before going out with him?
Ugh. Luke was so close to asking Lorelai out!

Favorite Quotes:
Lorelai: Hey. I’m studying in there.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: Yeah, I have, like 6000 pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomenon coming up on Friday, and because I have a life and a job and business school’s not the only thing I have to concentrate on, I’m behind and I’ll probably fail, and then that little 18-year-old annoying gnat who sits behind me will get another “A” and make that “I’m smart, your dumb” face for the rest of the week, and I’ll be very upset and will possibly cry.
Rory: The music is too loud.
Lorelai: Yes.
Rory: Got it.

Lorelai: Four more.
Luke: You can’t have four more. Those are the four I dealt you.
Lorelai: Well, these don’t help me, and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life. First Rune and now these four cards.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “Earn Enough For Us” by XTC, Blondie, Kraftwerk, Young Marble Giants, Yoko Ono, The Beatles, Granddaddy, “God Only Knows” by Claudine Longet, Beck, Foo Fighters, The Velvet Underground, Nico, Fugazi, “Everlong” by Foo Fighters
Movies/Shows: Mask, Beethoven, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, The Great Santini
Books: The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
People: Richard Simmons, Robert Duvall

EPISODE 13 – Concert Interruptus

Commentary:
Sometimes I just wonder why Paris is friends with Madeline & Louise. They don’t talk about anything Paris is interested in. They’re just relatively good at school.
Lorelai is soooo jealous that Luke has an ex!

Favorite Quotes:
Lorelai: Who wants cheese?
Rory: Are there crackers?
Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes there are crackers.
Rory: And in the Gilmore house?
Lorelai: Who wants cheese?

Lorelai: Take heart, my dear. Suffer today, party tonight.

Luke: I was having a bad day, that’s all. Now I’ve got magnetic sushi, so all is right in the world.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: The Bangles – “Hero Takes A Fall” and “Eternal Flame”
Movies/Shows: Joanie Loves Chachi
People: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Michelle Pfeiffer, Elle Macpherson

EPISODE 14 – That Damn Donna Reed

Commentary:
First town troubadour sighting!
Dean is so bad at jokes.
Uuuugh. Why doesn’t Luke just kiss Lorelai?!
Sookie knows Luke and Lorelai should be together. She’s not stupid. Apparently Lorelai is.
CHRISTOPHER IS HERE!

Favorite Quotes:
Lorelai: I love to paint.
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
Luke: You love it?
Lorelai: I want to marry it.
Luke: You’re a strange person.
Rory: She likes washing dishes, too. She’s multifaceted abnormal.

Rory: You know, Mom, when I go off to college, I’m gonna be gone every night. What will you do then?
Lorelai: Well, I will go with you. I will sleep on the floor in your dorm next to your bed.
Rory: Well, at least you’ve got a plan.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Foo Fighters, Siousxie and the Banshees, Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, The Wallflowers, Bush, Frank Sinatra, “Mr. Tambourine Man,” “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” “Beautiful Dreamer” by Stephen Foster
Movies/Shows: The Donna Reed Show, A Street Car Named Desire
People: Paul and Linda McCartney, William Shatner, Marcel Marceau, Marlin Perkins, Vivien Leigh, Jessica Tandy, Joan and Melissa Rivers

EPISODE 15 – Christopher Returns

Commentary:
Kirk and his insults. *dies*
All of the town people are calling each other about Christopher being in town. Part of me LOVES it, but part of me also feels it’s super intrusive—I’d hate to be in his shoes. I’m awkward enough already.
Jackson runs with his arms by his side and I’m dyyyyying. This whole episode is killing me!
Go Richard! Stand up for your daughter!
*sigh* I don’t know what my emotions are about Lorelai and Chris hooking up. I just want Luke, but I knew it was coming.
Lorelai forgot about her Luke painting date. *tears for days* And he knows there’s another guy. Ugh. Whyyyy?
Chris PROPOSED? Girl, Lorelai, yes. Tell him how crazy he is!

Favorite Quotes:
Luke: So, Rory was at the game today.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah.
Luke: Yeah, she was with some guy.
Lorelai: Dean.
Luke: No, I know that punk. Some…some older guy.
Lorelai: Oh, that would’ve been her dad.
Luke: Really? So that’s, uh…
Lorelai: The guy who impregnated me with Rory—yes.
Luke: Oh. Well, he did a good job.
Lorelai: Impregnating me with Rory?
Luke: Now, this has taken a very weird turn.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “Smoke on the Water” by Deep Purple, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” by the Rolling Stones, The Offspring, Metallica, Black Sabbath
Movies/Shows: Fiddler on the Roof, You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, Citizen Kane, I Love Lucy
Books: The Compact Oxford English Dictionary
People: Charles Dickens, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Billy Crudup, Chuck Berry, Tony Randall, Charlie Manson

EPISODE 16 – Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers

Commentary:
Stars Hollow is so obsessed with their traditions. Haha.
Why is a three month anniversary worth celebrating to the extent that Dean is pestering Rory to cancel her required weekly dinner with her grandparents? Ugh, Dean. It’s not worth it.
It drives me nuts when Taylor calls Lorelai/Rory young lady. I hate being called young lady.
Introduuuuucing Rachel. *jazz hands* Luke looks so uncomfortable to be in the same room as her.
I just don’t think three months in a teenager relationship is worth building her a car. Definitely not something you do to someone who hasn’t even told you they love you yet. And UGH! I have to keep reminding myself that they’re teenagers because I just think it’s ridiculous to break up with someone because they aren’t able to say “I love you” yet.

Favorite Quotes:
Lorelai: Coffee please with a shot of cynicism.

Lorelai: You’re full of hate and loathing and I gotta tell ya I love it!

Lane: You could run over me on your way out. Maybe my mother won’t make me go if I was in the hospital.
Lorelai: I wouldn’t count on it.
Lane: Yeah, you’re right.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “Heavenly” by Grant Lee Phillips
Movies/Shows: Lady and the Tramp, Misery, Christine, The Amazing World of Kreskin, Bambi
Books: Anna Karenina, Gone With the Wind, Tuesdays With Morrie
People: Tito Puente, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Johnny Depp

EPISODE 17 – The Breakup: Part 2

Commentary:
Yesssss. Luke beat up Dean! Somebody had to—he drives me nuts.
Aaaaand back to Max. I am happy that Lorelai took hold of the horns and broke the silence. But obviously still like Luke better: always will.
Yuuuus. Tristin kiss! So many mixed feelings about him but I just want him to learn to be sweet so his personality matches his looks.

Favorite Quotes:
Rory: I have things to do. I have school and Harvard to think about.
Lorelai: Honey, Harvard’s like three years away.
Rory: But now is the time to be preparing for it. I mean, Harvard is hard to get into, and I don’t know why I even spend my time thinking about anything else.
Lorelai: Because you have a pulse and you are not the president of the audiovisual club.

Luke: Do you see a smile on this face?
Dean: No, but what’s different about that?

Pop Culture References:
Movies/Shows: Love Story, The Champ, An Affair to Remember, Ishtar, Old Yeller, Footloose, Sesame Street, G.I. Jane
Books: Nancy Drew, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, The Bell Jar
People: Kevin Bacon, Chris Penn, Robin Leach, Madame Curie, Jennifer Lopez

EPISODE 18 – The Third Lorelai

Commentary:
I can’t imagine being terrified of your mother.
I love that Paris and Rory are beginning to put down arms and learn about each other and respect each other.
The original Lorelia (great-grandma) is the queen of sass.
Poor Paris got the “just friends” talk. The worst talk ever!
Doooooy RORY! Tristin likes YOU!

Favorite Quotes:
Emily: Someone…say something!
Lorelia: Do you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?

Paris: I just think it’s strange that you didn’t want to be queen.
Rory: You know, not all girls want to be queen, Paris. Even Barbie ended up being a stewardess.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: “It’s the Life” by Grant Lee Phillips, The Cranberries
Movies/Shows: Casablanca, Dawson’s Creek, Grease, I Love Lucy, Cabaret, Gaslight
Books: Hamlet
People: Kennedy family , Madonna, Barbie, Marx Brothers, Sarah Lawrence, The Unabomber, Frederick Nietzsche , Ricky Ricardo, William Shakespeare, Liza and Joan Rivers

EPISODE 19 – Emily in Wonderland

Commentary:
Apparently Rune is one of those people who thinks that going on a date is considered dating that person. *rolls eyes*
Why is Lane’s dad never in the picture? She refers to her parents plural often, but we haven’t seen her dad?
Rory chose *NSYNC over the Backstreet Boys. Good girl.

Favorite Quotes:
Sookie: So, I was thinking that if he could get another job and then he could save up some money, and afford his own place and move out, then I wouldn’t end up stabbing him in the neck with a grapefruit spoon.

Rachel: This town, you know, is like living under a microscope. Everyone here is just waiting for you to screw up.
Lorelai: No, that’s not true.
Rachel: Miss Patty?
Lorelai: Oh. Well, yeah.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Joy Division, Nick Cave, Robert Smith, Johnny Cash, Charlie Parker, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, Prince
Movies/Shows: Working Girl, Queen of Outer Space
People: The Williams sisters

EPISODE 20 – P.S. I Lo…

Commentary:
“One, two, three” game—I totally have played this before with my best friend while in college. It’s such a silly game.
Is Lorelai fixating on helping Luke with Rachel because it makes her uncomfortable to see Luke with someone that’s not her? IT SHOULD MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE!
Not that I would ever side with Dean, but I do feel sorry for him that his whole town has turned against him assuming he was the cause of the breakup.

Favorite Quotes:
Luke: I’m not trying anything on.
Lorelai: Hey, it’s not like the lumberjack look will ever go out. It won’t. But just once, wouldn’t it be nice not to be dressed like an extra from “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?”
Luke: Take it back.
Lorelai: Come on, just the jacket. Just once, be too sexy for your shirt and do a dance on the catwalk.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: Bee Gees
Movies/Shows: Out of Africa, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Books: Out of Africa, The Art of Fiction
People: Anna Nicole Smith, Mary Kay Letourneau, Meryl Streep, Isak Dinesen, Henry James, Fabio, Howard Cosell, Taylor Hanson

EPISODE 21 – Love, Dasies and Troubadours

Commentary:
Sookie’s hair is red!
Tristinnnn. Why you gotta be that way?
Yesssss. Town troubadour battle! The other guy didn’t even put up a fight. Bleh.
Awww. Rachel. You’re feeding exactly the impression Luke had by leaving. He was gonna try! Ultimately, though, she gets it. Luke and Lorelai are MEANT to be together.
Luke and Max ruffling their feathers and puffing their chests over Lorelai! *Hehe*
Poor Tristin. Maybe you should’ve tried a different tactic. I was slightly rooting for you, if you’d stop being an ass.
Ugh. You think the only solution to fixing fights with your girlfriend is marrying her? NAH!

Favorite Quotes:
Lorelai: I need coffee. Extra strong. Double caf. Triple caf. No, forget the caf, throw in the whole cow.

Lane: Have you heard a word I’ve said?
Rory: Nope.
Lane: I resent that. I’m a witty conversationalist.

Taylor: We are two peas in a pod, Luke.
Luke: Scary thought, Taylor.

Rory: Because I love you, you idiot.

Pop Culture References:
Songs/Bands: The Blue Man Group, Peter Frampton, Blur, Nico, PJ Harvey, “My Little Corner of the World” by Yo La Tengo, Grant Lee Phillips – “Honey Don’t Think,” “Sadness Soot, ” “Everybody Needs a Little Sanctuary”
Movies/Shows: Matrix, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Books: Dick Tracy
People: Margot Kidder, Judy Garland, Courtney Day, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Muir, The Unabomber, Henry David Thoreau

Kirk job #4 –> flower delivery

 

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Book Review

Title: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Parts I & II
Author: J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany, & Jack Thorne
Published: July 2016
Genre: Fantasy, Play

Rating: 2 Stars
Cover: It’s okay

518vha3dh9l-_sx329_bo1204203200_Synopsis:

Nineteen years after the Battle of Hogwarts…

It was always difficult being Harry Potter, and it isn’t much easier now that he is an overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband, and a father of three school-age children.

While Harry grapples with a past that refuses to stay where it belongs, his youngest son Albus must struggle with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted. As past and present fuse ominously, both father and son learn the uncomfortable truth: Sometimes, darkness comes from unexpected places.

Based on an original new story by J.K. Rowling, John Tiffany, and Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is a new play by Jack Thorne. It is the eighth Harry Potter story and the first to be officially presented on stage. This special rehearsal edition of the script brings the continued journey of Harry Potter and his friends and family to readers everywhere immediately following the play’s world premiere in London’s West End on July 30, 2016.

Harry: I’ve never asked you how you felt about me naming him after you, have I?
Dumbledore: Candidly, Harry, it seemed a great weight to place upon the poor boy.

Before I dove into this book, I felt I had to mentally prepare myself for the different formatted storytelling of the characters I’ve loved the majority of my life. This is not a book, but a play; therefore it should have different expectations. Even with this in mind, I felt the execution was less than expected. It felt like the writer didn’t know whether they were writing a play or a novel, often being excessively descriptive in the stage directions or using unnecessary details, such as the specific number a character dialed in the telephone booth entrance to the Ministry of Magic. An audience member is not going to be able to see what number is being dialed. It was a little confusing to keep going back and forth between mindsets – is this a script or a novel?

First, let me give you a quick overview of the plot in non-spoilery fashion. Harry and Ginny’s son, Albus, and Draco’s son, Scorpius, become friends over their societal outcast—Albus’s being self-inflicted because of his apparent hatred of his relation to his father, and Scorpius because of persistent rumors that his father and mother used a special Time Turner to go back in time, resulting in Scorpius being Voldemort’s heir. For some reason, Albus becomes obsessed with Cedric Diggory’s death, and ropes Scorpius into running away from school in order to find this alleged special Time Turner, go back in time to save Cedric, and alter time, as well as Harry’s fame. They are encouraged and accompanied by Cedric’s cousin, Delphi.

The script starts off where the 7th book ended, the next generation of Potter’s, Wesley’s, and Malfoy’s boarding the Hogwarts train. However, we barely get to see Hogwarts, which was a surprise to me. For the first 20-ish% of the book, the new characters are being introduced in quick glimpses, flashing through years at a neck breaking speed without giving much of an in depth look at characters’ lives. This whole beginning was just a fast paced view of Albus getting moodier and more self-centered over the course of four years. When the pacing does slow down, we are then thrown back and forth in time without a moment to breathe. It was hard to get connected. On top of that, the dialogue is not natural and often awkward. I cringed several times when characters spoke to each other, particularly when Albus and Scorpius interact with the trolley lady on the train to Hogwarts. You know, the one that comes around and sells sweets? Apparently she is nuts. I would like to scrub that scene from my cranium.

My biggest complaint was the lack of depth to the characters. I’m not just talking about the fast forward introduction to the new ones, but also the characters that are iconic to the Harry Potter industry. Ginny’s character was completely flat and uninteresting (Flashback to the movies?), Ron is constantly trying to make awkward jokes and works at the Joke Shop now (What happened to George? I thought Ron was an Auror?), and Hermione’s intelligence isn’t anything special. Draco’s character was the only that seemed relatively close to what we would expect, and he brought some of those nostalgic feelings back. Three cheers for Draco! Oh, and of course we have a Dumbledore cameo. He appears through various picture frames as a painting in two scenes. I feel that his addition is completely unnecessary; his scenes could be cut out of the play completely and make no difference. The first scene in which he makes an appearance, he offers Harry advice that is promptly ignored, instead causing Harry to respond in the opposite direction. In the second, Dumbledore’s lines are extremely uncharacteristic and he proceeds to make an awkward and emotional apology to Harry for the way he’s treated him over the years. It feels that Dumbledore’s role was specifically to give fans some closure they felt they deserved, though uncharacteristic. This is completely unnecessary because we often don’t get closure in our real lives.

Hands down, beyond a doubt, Scorpius is by far the best character. His wit cuts through the awkward dialogue and brings humor to the angsty characters. He responds to situations with normal emotions and questions that one would expect. He is loyal, even when his best friend is caught up in his get-back-at-his-dad-for-being-famous schemes. He kept me going. *fist pump for the witty, strange Scorpius*

Some of the scenes were inconsistent with things readers know to be true of the Wizarding World. On many occasions, characters would come and go from Hogwarts grounds without any dancing around security spells. Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Draco all come through Professor McGonagall’s chimney by Flu Powder and nothing is said about it other than Professor McGonagall’s complaint about the carpet getting dirty. Is anyone allowed to come onto school grounds now? Did security become lax after the Battle of Hogwarts? Isn’t this a little overzealous? One of the first things the new trio does in their vengeance scheme is use Polyjuice Potion to transform into Ministry of Magic employees AKA the parents. Did the author(s) forget that Polyjuice Potion takes a month to make? There is no way they could’ve whipped it up so fast! Apparently all Wizarding World rules are out the window though, since Time Turners play such a huge role in the story, even though they were all destroyed in the Battle of Ministries in the 5th book. However, these are special Time Turners that break all the rules because they are able to go back years instead of being limited to an hour or so. Who would’ve thought? To top it off, during one of their leaps through time in attempt to save Cedric, the three appear in the maze portion of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Somehow they are able to navigate the twists and enchantments of the maze, while remaining completely unseen by the scorekeepers, announcer, and crowds. There are a lot of things that don’t quite connect throughout.

In an attempt to be spoiler-free, I have not talked about Delphi in depth, nor the big plot twists in the second half of the book. Please comment if you’ve read this so that we can talk about these things!

The suspension of belief required during this read is exceptional and the dialogue cringe-worthy. The most redeeming quality of The Cursed Child is the humor Scorpius and Draco bring to the table. If you are hoping to reconnect with the story and the familiar characters, you may be left wanting more.

Book Review – Illuminae

Title: Illuminae: The Illuminae Flies _01
Author: Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Published: January 2015
Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Rating: 5 Stars
Cover: Like it

51vpagsvayl-_sx329_bo1204203200_Synopsis:

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do today. This afternoon, her planet was invaded.

The year is 2575, and two rival mega-corporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, exes Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto the evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

But the warship is the least of their problems. A deadly plague bas broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results. The fleet’s AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what the fuck is going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it’s clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she’d never speak to again.

Briefing note: Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

This is my first read by either of these authors, though I have the beautiful UK edition of Nevernight by Jay Kristoff on my shelf to read and I’ve already preordered the second book in the Illuminae series. After finishing this book, I will keep an even closer eye on these authors and their work.

Illuminae is the most engaging book I’ve read in a while. I thoroughly enjoyed the formatting of the text, using files, footage, and communications between ships. It felt like I was reading a real case file on an incident. Black pages are used for Kady’s diary entries and for the Artificial Intelligence’s, AIDIN, readings. Words dance across the pages in twists to illustrate the Cyclone ships flight paths, or to create a picture of the ships at war. Some words break to pieces to show a life lost during battle. I took extra long to read each page as the digital aspects through the illustrations mesmerized me, completely engaging me in the plot line. My only frustration with the format of the book was that I was constantly leaving fingerprint smudges on the black pages. When I complained about this to my boyfriend, he told me I should just buy two copies of every book—one to read and one to stay pretty looking. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Disclaimer as I move into the plot: PEOPLE DIE. So many people die. Three ships are able to escape the Kerenza colony when it is attacked by Bio-Tech. Though the ships suffer damages from the battle, they are able to save thousands of civilians and make headway as they escape the only Bio-Tech ship left standing, Lincoln. Before long, however, they are faced with troubles among their own fleet, including a plague that causes severe paranoia and their AI—which is programmed to protect them—suddenly and inexplicably killing their own people. The violence is not for the faint of heart. The hardest death for me in the whole book was the hardest one for Kady. I could almost hear the sound of my heart breaking and sinking into my stomach.

Kady is one of my favorite characters I’ve read. She is determined, feisty, and refuses to sit down and do nothing. Even AIDIN is charmed by her: “She tosses lank hair from her eyes. Eyes narrowed to knife cuts. Refusing to kneel. To break. To fall. I can see why they loved her” (p 548). She will not let the truth be hidden, but instead fights for knowledge through hacking into documents and even escaping one ship to help another. While rule-breaking never should be encouraged, Kady’s spunk and struggle for the truth to be known universally is admirable. We need more women like her in America today.

While Kady is primarily preoccupied in her illegal hunt, a part of her is preoccupied with her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Ezra. The morning before their home was invaded, she had broken up with him, much to his dismay. However, since he is on a separate ship than her, he has access to information she needs. She finally breaks the silence and starts to work with him. It is apparent he is still smitten by her when he continues to send her cheesy love poems in the shape of hearts and roses (insert eye roll) and tells her sweet encouragements like this (insert melting of my heart):

“Mason, E, LT 2nd: you have me
Mason, E, LT 2nd: until the last star in the galaxy dies
Mason, E, LT 2nd: you have me” (p 232).

While their relationship does not take up the whole plot line, it plays a big part. It’s encouraging to see people fight for each other in the midst of chaos, and to chose to work out their issues instead of ultimately running away.

The amount of twists revealed in Illuminae are innumerable. I constantly found myself gasping in shock at new information or even the shear brutality of everything. This book is well advertised by the line “Am I not merciful?” (p 307), but once I actually got to that part, I was completely horrified by what it meant. Once again, this book is not for the faint of heart. Every twist and turn provided more shocks, more horror, and hope was constantly handed to me and then ripped away. This book was so engaging, I’d think about it even when I wasn’t reading it. It is gripping and perfectly descriptive. I am counting down the days until book #2 hits the shelves.